If you’re a secret submissive and you dream of your woman dressed in latex and chains, you need to hear about these 10 Domme training tips. Not every woman is born ready to be in charge. Introduce your woman to bondage and discipline slowly. Show her what is in it for her if she plays along. Before long, your dommes in training will show you who is really in charge

Question your motives

No matter what you do, your lover will not magically become a porn star image of Domme. Before you introduce your partner femdom dating, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons: to deepen the relationship and celebrate each other.

Start slowly

Gauge your lover’s aptitude for Domme by asking her to order you around in normal, non-sexual applications. Try out some fantasies in non-threatening arenas, such as during cell phone sex.


BDSM is always about communication. After sex or while you are feeling especially close to your partner, tell her you want to share some fantasies with her. Describe how it feels to let go of yourself during sex. Focus on the feelings of Subs and Doms and how that would affect your relationship.

Accept that you might not get everything you want

Getting a partner who isn’t currently interested in BDSM activities to play your games is an exercise in trust.  Keep in mind, however, that your woman might not ever want to be the kind of dominatrix you want her to be.

Show her what’s in it for her

Start with plays of chastity: she gets to tell you when you can climax, and exactly how to please her. This is a great thing introduce her into a dominatrix training, because the payoff is obvious to her.

Don’t top from the bottom

Always spend extra time on communication before and after sex. Tell her the kinds of things you like, things you’ll never be open for, and things you might want to try. Ask her to detail the same topics for herself. After sex, talk openly about what worked and what didn’t, being careful to word things in a positive way.

She chooses when, where, how, and for how long

In your excitement to play with the kinkier version of your lover, you might be tempted to set the time and place for these activities. Don’t. You want her to dominate you at her own pace, her own way and for her own pleasure.

Be open

As you continue to play these games, you both are going to reach levels of trust, communication, and intimacy that you’ve never experienced before. If you allow yourself to be vulnerable with her, she’ll begin to see your sex games for what they are: vehicles for greater closeness in the relationship.

Be grateful

Without manipulating your lover, show her how much you appreciate her for playing along. Show your gratitude in ways that come naturally. Be physically affectionate. Make her breakfast the next morning. Send her to work with a love letter in her briefcase. This will let her know how important she is to you.

Continue to strengthen the relationship in other areas

Even though it is exciting to watch your lover transform into the Domme of your dreams, don’t forget that isn’t all she is to you. Continue to do normal things with her. Let her move at her own speed, and your dominatrix-in-training will surprise you in good, good ways